Starting is easy. Keeping going is the real art. Most people who take on something new stop too early. Not because they couldn’t do it. But because they rely on the wrong thing. In this article I show you what the people who stay do differently. And why quiet people often have an advantage.
Why motivation is not enough
Motivation is a feeling. It comes when you watch an inspiring video. And it goes when it’s dark outside, the day was long and the sofa is calling.
If you rely only on motivation, you have good weeks and bad weeks. And after a few bad weeks, you stop. That is not a character flaw. It is simply human.
The people who keep going rely on something else. On structures that hold even when motivation takes a break.
Point 1: fixed times instead of good intentions
“I’ll do it when I have time.” I said that sentence myself at the beginning. And the time never came.
Psychology has a name for this: implementation intentions. The psychologist Peter Gollwitzer studied what happens when people don’t just have a goal but decide in advance when, where and how they will act. An analysis of 94 studies shows: people who plan like this reach their goals much more often.
In practice that means: not “I’ll work on my business this week”. But “on Tuesday at 7 pm I sit down at the kitchen table and have two conversations”.
Point 2: a team instead of going it alone
I’ll say it openly: on my own, I would not have made it through the first year.
There were weeks when nothing worked. Conversations were cancelled, messages went unanswered. In those weeks it was my team that caught me. People who had been through exactly that and showed me that it goes on.
A team gives you three things you hardly have on your own: experience you can draw on. Commitment, because others count on you. And people to celebrate successes with.
Point 3: small goals every week
“In a year I want to be free.” That is a lovely goal. But it doesn’t help you on a Tuesday evening.
What helps are small goals you can reach within a week. Two conversations. One post. One hour of learning. Every goal you reach is a small proof that you are moving forward. And it is exactly these proofs that carry you through the tough phases.
Point 4: patience over twelve months
How long does it take for something new to become a habit? A study at University College London looked into this. Participants added a new habit to their everyday life, for example a glass of water with lunch or a short walk. On average it took 66 days until the action ran automatically. The range went from 18 to 254 days.
That means: after four weeks you are still in the middle of building it. Many people stop right then, just before it gets easier. So give yourself a year. Not four weeks.
Good news from the same study: a single missed day hardly disturbed the habit at all. So you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to get back in.
Quiet is not a disadvantage
Many people believe that for network marketing you have to be loud. A sales type who fills every room. I am more of a listener myself. And I can reassure you: quiet is not a disadvantage.
The organisational psychologist Adam Grant of the Wharton School analysed the sales figures of more than 300 employees in a call centre. The result surprised many: the strongly extraverted people were not the most successful. The most revenue came from so-called ambiverts, people who sit somewhere in the middle. They can talk, but above all they can listen.
That is exactly what matters in my business:
- asking questions instead of presenting
- listening to what the other person really needs
- one-to-one conversations instead of a big stage
- building relationships that last for years
If you are on the quiet side, you might be exactly right here.
In the middle of it: what a normal day looks like for me
No pool, no palm trees. A completely normal Tuesday looks like this for me: a calm breakfast in the morning and planning the day. A Zoom call with my team. One or two hours for content like this article. A break outside. And in the afternoon two conversations with people who are interested in oils or the business.
Unspectacular? Yes. And that is exactly the point. Success doesn’t happen on one big day. It happens on many normal days on which you simply keep going.
Frequently asked questions
What do I do if I got nothing done for a whole week?
Get back in. A missed day or a weak week changes little about the result. What matters is that you are there again at your next fixed time.
Do I have to be extraverted to be successful?
No. Listening, asking questions and building relationships are at least as important as talking.
How long does it take until it feels easy?
That varies a lot. Expect a few months until your fixed times have become a habit. Give yourself a year before you take stock.
Don’t want to start alone?
In a free intro call we look together at whether this path suits you. 30 minutes on Zoom, honest and without pressure.
Book an intro callSources
- Gollwitzer PM, Sheeran P: Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology 2006;38:69–119: https://kops.uni-konstanz.de/entities/publication/2e749bfb-8533-437c-8203-7e788c910c5f
- Lally P, van Jaarsveld CHM, Potts HWW, Wardle J: How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology 2010;40(6):998–1009: https://bps.org.uk/research-digest/how-form-habit
- Grant AM: Rethinking the extraverted sales ideal: The ambivert advantage. Psychological Science 2013;24(6):1024–1030: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797612463706